It’s time to give something back to society. And so, here I shall do my part, such as it is. I know how hard it is to come up with a really good alias to evade capture by law enforcement when committing petty fraud, grand larceny, scams, arson, murders, assaults and batteries, housebreakings, terrorism, home invasions, kidnappings and embezzlement. There just aren’t enough good, reliable aliases in the public domain. And who wants to pay royalties for a good alias? Nobody.
And so, to “pay it forward,” as it were, I hereby bequeath to humanity my trove of aliases for all & sundry to put to ill use. These aliases have been tested, time and again, and have proven themselves to be consistently ranked among the best in the business. Furthermore, all aliases named herein are free of all encumbrances, liens and mortgages, and all are free to use them for any purpose, so long as it is unethical, and, whenever feasible, unlawful. The list begins forthwith:
- MacBlunch D.G. Awltchbawmon
- Balfred Azzle
- Bibbelsnæð Bibbelsnæðsson
- Bibbelsnaga Bibbelsnæðsdottir
- Fordney McCumber Bilmfimble
- L. Çrampogne Bilmfimble
- Hon. Gorman Y. Binge
- Girtford Bleaves
- Henry Harrison Cleepstraw
- Morbidia Deathpuffs
- Duncan Dönitz
- Bowdler Figgles
- Shumway Fleeby
- Yosbert Yinklington Flinsterbolm
- Rynald K. Garbonzostein
- Wagbert Glöggnitz
- Wilber Hemphill Goke
- Archibald Greex
- Hamilton Groaker
- Isaac Lillington Hefflewhimp
- Waldorf Imvergampps
- Floyd P. Jamboree, Jr.
- Fast Eddie Krakatoa
- Hinton Dumberthon Kigg
- Philippa Knäkkerschnattz
- Dr. Ernst Lorp
- Zapruder F. Mashtots
- Gustav Ignatz Nalgas
- Dingwall Nodge
- Elmer Pitman Opuaper
- Otto, Graf von Pfmidtnöchtler-Pízsmőgy
- Zachary Pottle
- Clambert Prunebanks
- Clambertine Prunebanks
- Smedley Darlington Prunebanks
- Vitort K. Puttna
- Olaf Qvality
- Edgar Lamb Scumblefield (For use in German-speaking jurisdictions, substitute: Ehdgardt Lömbe Zschgümbelfeld)
- Horrendo C. Slapp
- Glympia O. Smeech
- Nestor Smyrba
- Aurelio Snitball
- Habersham Snooting
- Vescoe P. Spurnwick
- Vomica Spurnwick
- Renfrew Squeevil
- Dixterton Twiggs
- Caerulia Valc
- Agnew Harrison Vampersand
- Josephus Vile
- Elburn Vinchpotts
- Purdy Jackson Weedflax
- Milledge B. Wreaxheaver
- Lathrop Sewell Yamm
- Mumphrey Oddison Yamm
- Shipstead Wilton Yamm
- Coronel Juan Lindo Domingo Pacífica Benedicto Trinidad de las Planetas Zefirino Bonifacio Santiago Vespasiano Zefrádio Sinibaldo Güibellino Septizoño Zerón y Omonita
- Jimperson Zibb
- Pope Zosimus, XI
